This Is Me

Jessie Bee
I am a seeker of God, a help-meet to my husband and a mother to my 3 children. I love hot lattes, good books, cold weather and anything that inspires me to be creative. I desire simplicity and authenticity, but often have to remind myself to seek those .
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Tuesday, November 15, 2011

The Day I Was An Awful Mommy

A few days ago my children went insane.

A typical day with them includes a handful of interventions, but three days ago that "handful" amounted to at least twenty before lunchtime.  I was losing both discipline options and my patience very quickly.  So when I heard a curdling scream from my bedroom, I ran back there and grabbed the offending party (my middle daughter), gave her a swat on the bottom, and plopped her on my bed.  "You stay here and DO NOT MOVE."

I grabbed the younger, injured party and started for the girls room, with the intention of separating them for the next hour.  However, on my way out the door I heard the sobbing scream from my bed, "Bu-ut Mommy!!  I di-didn't d-d-d-do it!!!!"

I looked at my youngest whom was still crying due to her injury, then looked at the accused questioningly.  I knelt down and asked my daughter how she got hurt.  "Fr-from the cl-cl-closet."  *sniff*sniff*

My stomach dropped.  I had done what no parent ever wants to do - I'd punished in frustration.  But worse than that, I had punished unfairly.  I had sent a message to my children that the judge and jury they depend on for daily mediation can be unfair and unjust.  Talk about brutal humbling.

So I did the only thing I could think of.  I cried.  I cried and I asked her to forgive me because I, her mommy, had completely wronged her.  Her own teary eyes stared at me for a split second until she realized that she was no longer in trouble, then broke into a huge grin and let out the sound of perfection: a giggle.  I had been forgiven.

Why did I write this?  Because I want to make it clear that I am not a perfect parent.  My dear child was the victim of a a faulty justice system, and it was my fault. But I've learned that honesty in this area usually begets improvement, and improvement in this area is what I crave.

So thanks for reading my confession.  Tomorrow I expect to be perfect.


tpalomino said...

Thank u for sharing...I try to b fair but I'm also at times guilty of the smae thing and always try to admit when I was wrong and ask for forgiveness. I think its good for our kids to learn as early as possible that even mom can make mistakes and admit the wrong and ask forgiveness

Jessie Bee said...

I completely agree! But I also think its so so so important for us to realize that NO MOTHER IS PERFECT! Thanks for the comment Tai!

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