This Is Me

Jessie Bee
I am a seeker of God, a help-meet to my husband and a mother to my 3 children. I love hot lattes, good books, cold weather and anything that inspires me to be creative. I desire simplicity and authenticity, but often have to remind myself to seek those .
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Sunday, November 27, 2011

For the love of cake...

When I found out I was pregnant with my son, I was a wee bit bummed that his due date was in the middle of November.  You see, my birthday is in November.  And so is my twin sister's.  And my husband's, my uncle's, and my grandpa's.  So I was disappointed that his birthday would have to be shared with so much family.  Surprisingly, my son came 3 weeks early - in late October - and we avoided the whole November birthday conflict.

However, four months later I found out I was pregnant again.  And due in November.  My daughter came 5 days after my husband's birthday, and 5 days before mine.  Oh well, we could still have fun with that.  Then the next year I gave birth to my third child.  In November.  Ironically, I now wish my son's birthday was November just for the sake of unity.

Needless to say, November is a busy month for us given that our birthday's tend to hug Thanksgiving like a long-lost relative and we spend a solid two weeks eating and celebrating...and baking.  

So last week, in a matter of four days, I made four cakes (and some cake pops) and had a blast doing it!  Here are some pics:

French Vanilla (box mix) with Swiss Meringue Buttercream

"Autumn Delight" cake (sweet potato cake) with Brown Sugar Swiss Meringue

Raspberry Chocolate Ganache
(I noticed the cute little finger swipe after I took the pic)

 My fourth cake was a carrot cake order that I didn't get a pic of before it was picked up.  

However, here is a pic of me holding my birthday cake, made by my amazing Dad.  
Who knew he could make cakes?!?  I was hugely impressed.

Now it is time to recoup before Christmas.  =)

Thursday, November 24, 2011

I'm Thankful.

1. I'm thankful for my family.  We have had some great highs and some extreme lows.  But God is sovereign and loves to bless.  What a gift.
2. I'm thankful for the unbelievable freedom of going into this season 100% debt free.  It hasn't been easy, we've had to make sacrifices, but it's been worth it.  What a gift.
3. I'm thankful for my husband's job.  There are so many people facing the reality of unemployment, and yet my husband was blessed with a career where, not only does his company continue to grow, but he is able to provide jobs for others.  What a gift.
4. I'm thankful for my friends.  Never before have I realized the treasure chest of friends I have been blessed with.  Through even our low times and our efforts to pursue adoption, we have not just been surrounded, but we have been picked up and carried by these people.  What a gift.
5. I am thankful for the fulfillment of wants.  Not only have needs been met in abundance, but I have been blessed with so many of my wants as well.  A cutting board set, hot coffee on cold mornings, a new outfit, great books to read, and several date nights with my husband are just a few of them.  What a gift.  
6. A God who continues to love, forgive, and bless me.  Just the other night I read about how awesome it is to give praise to a God whom we cannot exaggerate.  What a gift.

I know people say we should be thankful for these things everyday.  I am.  Nonetheless I still appreciate being given a day to meditate on all the blessings in my life, and to spend that day with friends and family doing the same.  

What a gift.

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

The Day I Was An Awful Mommy

A few days ago my children went insane.

A typical day with them includes a handful of interventions, but three days ago that "handful" amounted to at least twenty before lunchtime.  I was losing both discipline options and my patience very quickly.  So when I heard a curdling scream from my bedroom, I ran back there and grabbed the offending party (my middle daughter), gave her a swat on the bottom, and plopped her on my bed.  "You stay here and DO NOT MOVE."

I grabbed the younger, injured party and started for the girls room, with the intention of separating them for the next hour.  However, on my way out the door I heard the sobbing scream from my bed, "Bu-ut Mommy!!  I di-didn't d-d-d-do it!!!!"

I looked at my youngest whom was still crying due to her injury, then looked at the accused questioningly.  I knelt down and asked my daughter how she got hurt.  "Fr-from the cl-cl-closet."  *sniff*sniff*

My stomach dropped.  I had done what no parent ever wants to do - I'd punished in frustration.  But worse than that, I had punished unfairly.  I had sent a message to my children that the judge and jury they depend on for daily mediation can be unfair and unjust.  Talk about brutal humbling.

So I did the only thing I could think of.  I cried.  I cried and I asked her to forgive me because I, her mommy, had completely wronged her.  Her own teary eyes stared at me for a split second until she realized that she was no longer in trouble, then broke into a huge grin and let out the sound of perfection: a giggle.  I had been forgiven.

Why did I write this?  Because I want to make it clear that I am not a perfect parent.  My dear child was the victim of a a faulty justice system, and it was my fault. But I've learned that honesty in this area usually begets improvement, and improvement in this area is what I crave.

So thanks for reading my confession.  Tomorrow I expect to be perfect.

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