This Is Me

Jessie Bee
I am a seeker of God, a help-meet to my husband and a mother to my 3 children. I love hot lattes, good books, cold weather and anything that inspires me to be creative. I desire simplicity and authenticity, but often have to remind myself to seek those .
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Thursday, March 22, 2012

I'm Diseased.

I have an ugly disease that flared up today.  I've always had issues with it, but today it was on track to get exceedingly awful.  Then amidst trying to clean my room through tears, I was cured.  For today, anyway.  My disease isn't rare, but it is ugly and can sometimes be contagious.  And today it nearly took me down.

It's called ungratefulness.  

My husband owns a business and by now we thought it would have grown more.  It's stupid stuff that's preventing growth -- something my husband can't exactly control.  But because we've been working towards an adoption, we just sort of assumed things would fall into place...right?  Apparently wrong.  At least, that's how my brain was computing it yesterday.  Then while stumbling around my room and wiping snot from my face, it occurred to me:  I'm blessed.  And not just blessed, I'm spoiled.  I was so focused on what I thought I should have instead of being focused on what I am so richly surrounded with.

I have a hard-working, super-patient husband.  I have three wildly lovely children.  I have some of the most amazing friends a girl could ask for.  I have health insurance.  Yes, as weird as that sounds, I'm very aware of what a blessing that is and am thankful for it.  I have a house full of stuff.  Well, that's actually why I was stumbling around my room.  I have too much stuff and am trying to box a bunch of it up to get rid of.  Then tonight I sat down at my computer to respond to emails I get through my participation with Global Media Outreach.  They are emails from people trying to figure out who God is, or just want prayer, and they come from all over the world.  This particular email came from a young lady in Kenya who asked me to pray that God would bring back the love that once existed between her parents, and let me know she has cried to God countless times to open the door to college so she can get a good paying job and bring her parents out of poverty.  And I was bummed because Stuart's business isn't growing as fast as I hoped.  

What an idiot I can be sometimes.  Unlike most diseases, I bring this one on myself.  I lose sight of what I have and then the symptoms set in.  But today I caught myself and was able to turn my whining into thanksgiving...and it's not even November!  Best part is that the ungratefulness disease is cured as quickly as that.  At least for today.

So tell me, what are YOU thankful for?


The Professor's Wife said...

I can relate. I am thankful for God's grace, for sunny days, for an amazingly supportive husband, for wise counsel, for godly friends like you!

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